Life is CRAZY! I know, I know, that's always my excuse, but really, this time it's true. Between applying for jobs, being involved with our church, spending time with other seminary couples, going on dates, spending time with my family in Greenville, and just normal life in between, it's been busy around here lately.
Josh is doing really well in school and getting ready to finish up this semester here in a few weeks. Unfortunately, with the end of the semester comes lots of exams and papers, so he's trying to get a jump start on some of that right now so that it doesn't creep up on him all at once. He's enjoying being an intern at our church- he taught Thursday morning Bible Study this week and is looking forward to the next time that he gets to preach. Since our very successful fall festival at King's Cross, Josh has been following up with people in the community who came and he's been making some great connections! We are so excited to see the Lord's work in the life of our church.
As for me, well, life's been pretty stressful lately. My nanny job has been a blessing, even though it has its rough spots. I love the kids that I'm working with and I am going to miss them so much. BUT, that's the good news, actually. I'm going to miss them because I'm moving on to -*drum roll, please*- a position at Providence Pediatrics as an RN!!!!!!! I am incredibly excited about this! After more than 4 looooooong months of applying for jobs, I finally got an interview and a week later (this past Monday, to be exact) I was offered the job! God has been so good to us through this. It was literally right in the nick of time. Things were not looking so hot for us financially when we were looking towards the end of the month, but this job has lifted that burden substantially :)
If you'll allow me to rewind a little bit to the days following up to the day that I found out I had been hired. On Saturday I found out that the family I was working for had hired a new nanny because they knew that I had an interview and were hoping that I would get the job. Talk about added stress! Not only had it been a week since my interview without hearing anything back, but now we were faced with the possibility of me being completely out of work on both sides. Sunday morning we went to church- it was communion Sunday, and as I sat in the pew as the elders passed out the bread and juice, I was almost in tears as I thought about what my Savior has done for me through His death on the cross. He reminded me that if He could do THAT for me, He could also take care of my job situation. How could I not trust Him?
But even as I trusted Him, it was still so daunting. What if I didn't get this job and had to keep applying for jobs? I cannot even begin to tell you how sick I was of doing that. So, Monday morning I rolled out of bed with a sense of dread. My replacement was coming to work with me so that I could train her. What if I was out of a job, didn't get the new job, and had to go back to square one?
I drove to the grocery store that morning. I walked into the store with my list in hand and quickly got what I wanted. I loaded my items onto the belt and prayed as I mentally calculated prices that it would be under $35.
$32.
I'd made it. But I realized as I was standing there how much I hated that- how every week I stood there with my fingers crossed hoping, praying that I hadn't busted the grocery budget too much. Oh how I couldn't wait to have just a little more flexibility when it came to our cash flow. I hated the feeling of guilt over every purchase, necessary or not because I knew that with every purchase, our bank account dwindled a little bit more and that was not being replaced sufficiently.
And as I drove home from the store that day, I let my mind wander to worst case scenario. What if I lost my job, the one that was barely keeping us afloat, and didn't find another one for months? And as my mind kept turning over and over again, rehashing different scenarios, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I burst into tears, the stress and burden of the past 5 months was just too much. And I started praying as I peered through my tears at the road, crying out to God. I told Him that it was all too much. I told Him that I just couldn't do it anymore, that I was so exhausted. I pleaded with Him that He would take away the heavy weight that I felt all the time. I begged Him to have mercy on us. I told Him that I had learned to trust Him so much more during this trial, but that I was SO ready for it to end.
And just two hours later, as I sat in the car pool line with my kids new nanny, I got that phone call. And I was overjoyed.
Isn't God amazing? I mean, He could have given me a job 2 weeks after I passed my boards if He wanted to. But then, I wouldn't have learned to trust Him like I did, and neither would Josh. We both decided that these past two months we've let go of our finances so much more. I used to constantly ask Josh where we were at, but lately I've just learned to be careful with what He's given us and trust that He will provide. That doesn't mean that we never looked at our bank account balance. But just that we trusted that no matter how bleak it may have looked, God would never leave us nor forsake us. And right when we got to the point where we really were starting to wonder what His plan was -BOOM- He brought me a job. He really knew what He was doing.
What's God been doing in your life lately? How has He been molding and shaping you?
1. I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face
2. Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair
3. I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest
4. Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part
5. Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low
6. Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"
7. "These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me,
That thou mayest seek thy all in me."
