One Year Ago...

My dad returned a phone call to a young man named Joshua Andrew Grimm. He told him that, yes, he could pursue a courtship with me.

And now, here we are! We've grown to know and love one another in ways I wouldn't have ever imagined! And we're getting married in 65 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He sent me this enormous bouquet of flowers to commemorate the occasion :D

New Beginnings | Our story, Part VI

• Part 1- First Impressions
• Part 2- Second Chances
• Part 3- Love At Third Sight
• Part 4- Four Sweet Months
• Part 5- Just A $5 Dessert

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills my mind

I somehow find, you and I collide

______________________________

Ashley:

          I wish that I had journaled more frequently over these next few months because it is all such a blur in my mind . . .

          After the red velvet incident started up our conversations again, we began talking more frequently, exchanging messages every few days. But at some point- and I can’t remember exactly when it happened- Josh slowed everything down an incredible amount...and since we’d already been taking it slowly, it was as if we’d gone from 10 to 2 miles per hour. I would send him a message, and he wouldn’t reply until at least two weeks later. And it seemed that nothing I did would make him communicate any faster. God was again teaching me patience.  

         On Christmas Day, I was tired of waiting for a reply from him. I sent him a facebook message, apologizing for skipping his turn, but wishing him a Merry Christmas. He replied back that same day, telling me about his Christmas in Georgia with his family and the surprise snowfall that they’d gotten. We exchanged half a dozen messages that day, but it didn’t really change anything. We went back into our old routine of messages every few weeks. I remember telling my friend Rachel that it was as if our conversations never got any deeper than, “What’s your favorite color.”

         I continued to struggle with waiting for God’s timing in all of it. Sometimes it felt as if we were just wasting our time- if our friendship wasn’t to develop into anything more, than what were we doing? 

         I couldn't figure it out. Was the delay in his responses because he was tired of talking to me? Ruby suggested just not responding to one of his messages and seeing what he did- if he pursued the conversation with me than at least I’d have a better idea of what was going on...I decided to give it a shot, not really thinking it would do any good.

         Ashlee reminded me that it’s a girl’s job to wait and a guy’s job to pursue. “I know that, but sometimes I really just wish I could come right out and ask him if he has any interest in me. But I’d never do that, because it’s not my place, I don’t have the guts, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

         “But Ashley”, she replied, “It’ll have to end at some point. If there’s nothing between the two of you than he’ll marry some other girl and you’ll find another guy and you won’t be able to be friends like you are now.”

         I sighed. It seemed hopeless. But I planted a bug in Ashlee’s ear that night- one that suggested that Daniel mention it to Josh. I knew that Josh and Daniel were scheduled to make a trip to their alma mater, Erskine College, the following Monday...but I didn’t really think Daniel would say anything. 

          Apparently Daniel did have a conversation with Josh that mentioned my name a time or two because on Monday evening, Joshua initiated a chat on my email with me (this was a first for us- it was so much more like a real conversation instead of a well thought out message!). When I saw his name and the first line of his chat on my computer screen, I started shaking and my teeth started chattering. No joke. And that continued throughout our entire conversation and even afterwards. I was so excited and nervous.

         He asked me how I was doing and told me about his trip to Erskine with Daniel. We discussed the new Sunday School class he was teaching at church and his recent sermon. At the end of our conversation I apologized for not responding to his last facebook message, “Oh yeah, I saw you on here and was like, ‘Hey, Ashley’s on, I haven’t heard from her in a while,’ so I decided to talk to you!” 

        Apparently Ruby was right.

        Whatever Daniel said to Josh made an incredible difference and just like that our friendship turned a corner. We started talking about deeper things, asking more hard hitting questions, and truly getting to know one another. This man continued to make an impression on me . . . and that scared me. Because this man, like none other I had ever known, was someone I would absolutely consider marrying. But I didn’t really know him. Not in person, that is. What if I spent some time with him again in person and I didn’t even like him? Would all this be for nothing again? 

         And I was about to get my answer. On February 24th, Josh and I chatted again. He told me that he had heard from Daniel that I would be in Charlotte during my spring break, and he asked if he could come visit me. I had previously caught wind of this from Ashlee, so my parents and I had already talked and prayed about it. I told him yes. Yes, I would love to see him. 

        And so it was set. On March 19th, I would get to see Joshua Andrew Grimm for the first time in 10 months. 

____________________________

Joshua:

         Ashley and my Facebook messages continued to be more frequent. We shared prayer requests for school, work, and family, and what our holiday plans were. Christmas finally came, and I'll never forget when Ashley sent me a message that day to wish me a merry Christmas, even though it was technically my “turn” in our conversations. I looked at some pictures she had posted on Facebook from her time with her family, and I knew I was still smitten by Ashley's beauty, sweetness, and friendship. But I also hadn't taken the next step yet in terms of how and if to move the friendship forward.

          One day in January, I went to visit Erskine with my best friend, Daniel. Daniel was, of course, married to Ashley's best friend, Ashlee. Shortly after we got on to the interstate in Charlotte, Daniel asked me how things were going with Ashley...and what my intentions were. I told him what my obstacles were to moving our friendship beyond where it was – that Ashley was 5 years younger than me, and that we may have some theological differences. I felt called to ministry – would those differences be an obstacle for us?

         Daniel pondered for a moment and then challenged me – had I asked Ashley deeper questions to find out if any of those things I was concerned about were really obstacles? Did I really know if she wasn't mature enough for me or that the theological difference that I suspected was real? Would it be worth it to pursue these issues further?
         My reply? "No...and no. But yes...I definitely think it would be worth it.” But it really scared me.

        While from January to March we would go on to have Facebook messages on deeper topics, two breakthrough conversations took place on Gchat that were very meaningful. The first came on January 17, the night I returned from my trip to Erskine with Daniel. I had hoped Ashley would be on chat – I may have seen her on before when I was invisible ;) - and she was. With my heart pounding through my chest, I messaged her at 9:48. And for 8 agonizing minutes, I didn't hear back from her. My mind went to the worst – maybe she didn't really want to talk to me that much, maybe she had gotten tired and given up on me – but I tried to tell myself that maybe she was just away from her computer or busy. At 9:56, Ashley messaged me back. We had our first “live” conversation since the wedding...And I loved it. We bantered about my time with Daniel , I picked on her about not replying to my last Facebook message sooner, we talked about her day, and we talked about a sermon I recently preached on Psalm 50 – as it turned out, one of her favorite Psalms. When Ashley said that she would “love to” hear my sermon if I could upload it, she made my heart jump. She came across as sweet, as fun, and as godly as the girl I had become friends with through our months of on and off Facebook posts.

        Our next major chat came on February 24. Ashley had mentioned that her head was about to explode from studying too much, so I thought it would be a good time to distract her. She told me I looked like the actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt – or, that he looked like me. In some way I couldn't logically explain, her comment made me feel special. We bantered back and forth about the young adult Bible study she was had been at that evening and TV shows we watched...and then I asked Ashley about visiting her when she came down to visit Daniel and Ashlee in March. She said that she would love to see me, and my heart just about leapt out of my chest. We recounted our memories of meeting each other, and how neither of us would have thought we would still be talking 8 months later. I told Ashley at the end of our conversation that I was excited about seeing her and she told me she was super excited and “:D :D :D.”
           I still tried to guard my heart – I wanted to see how we would be together in person after all this time apart – but as we ended that chat, I had an excitement I hadn't felt before about getting to see someone. Ashley's sweetness, thoughtfulness, love for the Lord, and fun personality made me enjoy her friendship, and I could feel my heart longing to know her more. As I prayed for discernment and wisdom, it was becoming clearer to me that Ashley and I were developing a special friendship. While I was scared to put it to the “in-person” test, I was excited beyond belief to countdown to seeing Ashley in person again!

I Can't Stop Smiling.

Furnish our apartment- check.

       Have you ever felt so blessed that you just couldn't express it adequately? That's exactly how I feel today. 

       Our quest for furniture began even before we were engaged. Josh and I and our parents all knew that it was only a matter of time before he popped the question, so we were keeping our eyes open for good deals on furniture. The weekend before we got engaged, I was garage sale-ing with my mom and aunt and picked up this beautiful leather chair for a really good price! 

        Then, a few weeks later, after we got engaged, we found this cute little table on Craigslist, and Josh was able to pick it up and move it into his apartment. 

          But then it stopped. No matter how much I looked, it seemed I could never find what we wanted for a price that would work for us. Or, if I did, it sold before I could get to it or it was too far away or we couldn't find transportation for it. 

         I started to get discouraged. So we took a break from looking and moved our thoughts to other things. But as the days ticked by and we could see the wedding getting closer (91 days now!!!), we knew that we needed to find some furnishings if we didn't want to move into an empty apartment. So at the beginning of February, I posted this. We asked people to help, and then we prayed. 

        Someone offered us a metal bed frame...someone else offered us a rocking chair...others said that they would keep an eye out for stuff for us...these things were great and we were (and still are!) thankful for them. But I was still discouraged. Why did everything have to cost so much? Would I ever get things to make our apartment feel like home? You're all probably thinking "but Ashley, it hasn't even been a full month since then yet!" And it's true. But I can be impatient. God's been teaching me patience a lot this past year and a half, and He's taught me more of that through this furniture process. 

        And so we continued to pray and trust God. And I decided to be content with whatever came our way. "Dressers," I decided, "If we can only get dressers, I can live without the rest for now." 

        So when my friend Olivia sent me an email telling me that her great-uncle ran a furniture bank and wanted to help us, I was excited. And I was still only thinking dressers. What a huge blessing it would be just to get them! 

        My dad got some time off of work yesterday, and we rented a truck and drove to the furniture bank. I got to pick out some furniture from their selection and I was incredibly blessed by their ministry at this place. Their mission is to share the gospel and they wanted to help us out since Josh will be going to seminary. They loaded up the things I had picked out and then prayed for Josh and I before we left. I was so excited with the things that I got!!! 

This dresser I had picked out for myself- there's also a pretty mirror that goes with it . . .But it's actually going to go in our spare room now- I'll explain that later in the post. 

The matching night stand :) This will also go in the guest room.

This armoire could either be used as a TV stand or a dresser of sorts- yesterday the plan was for Josh to use it as his dresser, but we've now decided that it'll be in our living room for our TV :D

We also got this set of tables for our living room! 

Sofa table . . .

End table . . .

 The coffee table is heavy and was behind some other stuff so I couldn't quite get to it well enough to get a good picture :P 

           Ok, so now to the next part of the story. Yesterday, after I got back with my new furniture, I found out from my friend, Kate, that someone she knows had some bedroom furniture that they were willing to give us since they no longer needed it. We still had the Uhaul for the rest of the day and part of the next, so dad and I decided to go take a look. This morning we got up went to get it. 

          It's so much more than I could have ever asked for!!!! It's such a beautiful set and it all matches!!! I love matching bedroom sets, but I had come to the conclusion that our bedroom was going to have bits and pieces of stuff and I would be content with that. Never did I dream I'd have this beautiful set to call my own! :D

This'll be my dresser- I'm going to get new knobs for the outside drawers, but other than that, I love it and plan on leaving it just the way it is! 

And here's the mirror that goes with it . . .

Josh's dresser- sorry for the blurriness. Again, new knobs on the top of this one :) 

And I just love these two little nightstands!!! 

            O, and this is really neat too! My neighbors gave me this head/footboard a few months ago, and it's been sitting in the basement. I'd forgotten what it looked like. So when we brought the new furniture home today, and my mom mentioned this headboard, I remembered the color as being different and told her that it wouldn't match. But she pulled a drawer out of one of the dressers and brought it into this storage room and put it next to the headboard. And guess what? It matches perfectly! 

         We also got two tall bookshelves and a metal bed frame! So that completes everything that was on our list of furniture (combined with his couch and bed, and the desks that we already have) except for the china cabinet, which really wasn't a necessity and just something I'll be keeping an eye out for once we get to Charlotte. 

         I probably used an excessive amount of exclamation marks in this post ;) But honestly, I don't really care...I'm just so happy and blessed! Mom said earlier, "Ashley, you're on cloud 9 today!" and I replied with, "I know, and I just love being here!"

         I can't wait to move these things to Charlotte in a few months and set up my own home with my husband!

         Yesterday and today have been such a reminder of God's faithfulness and goodness to me. I am blessed beyond measure by His love and still He pours out more blessings upon me! As I was thinking of this on and off yesterday and today, I've been brought to tears more than once. God is so good. 

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!"