Thankful.

We pull up to the airport, and Josh parks the car at the curb. He turns and looks at me. We're both silent as we search each other's faces.

Breathe. I can do this.

My shoulders begin to shake. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me as close as the seats of the car will allow. I bury my head in his shoulder and the tears flow. Josh begins to pray, and I sob even harder.

I can't do this. God, please help me! I can't do this again. 

Josh prays for safety and comfort as we're apart. He says "amen" and pulls back, staring intently into my eyes. He wipes a tear off my cheek. 

"We can do this... God is good...We'll be together again soon."

The clock tells us that it's time to go. Oh, how I wish I could stop time, just this once. My heart sinks and I feel weak as I open my door and get out. Josh hoists my bags out of the trunk, which somehow now contain more items than I came to North Carolina with. 

My eyes well up with tears again, and I look down at the ground. Josh tenderly put his hand on my chin and brings my face up so that my gaze meets his. He kisses my cheek and envelopes me in his arms. 

I could stay here forever. 

If only I could. But my flight's leaving soon. My heart aches, and a sob escapes my lips as I force myself to pull away from him, pick up my things, turn, and walk into the airport. I keep my eyes fixed ahead, not daring to look back for fear that I won't be able to continue forward. 

Just put one foot in front of the other.
I'm surrounded by people. Security agents, small children and their parents, pilots and stewardesses, young adults on their way back to college, and businessmen rushing to their gates. 

But I feel so alone.

And as the tears threaten to flow again, I remember what Josh said.

God is good.

And I'm thankful. Because no matter how many times I have to say goodbye to the person who is most important to me on this earth, I'm never alone. I'm surrounded by the love of my Father in Heaven. He gives me strength. He brings me peace. And He loves me more than Josh does. 

Wow.