Four Sweet Months | Our Story Part IV

         If you haven't already, before you read this post, check out the first three! 

• Part 1- First Impressions
• Part 2- Second Chances
• Part 3- Love At Third Sight

I've still got sand in my shoes

and I can't shake the thought of you

I should get on, forget you

but why would I want to?

       ___________________________________

Ashley:

        That young man had certainly made an impression on me, one I couldn’t seem to shake. I had to know more about him! So despite the fact that it was late when I got home that night, I added him as a friend on Facebook before heading to bed.

         When I woke up the next morning to a notification that he’d accepted my request, my thoughts ranged from scared to excited. I enjoyed looking at some of his pictures and browsing his interests, trying to acquaint myself with the amazing guy that I’d somehow fallen for in just a few short hours.

I summoned up the courage to write him a quick note on his wall “Josh! It was great meeting you and talking to you a bit :) Thanks for dancing---and not giving up :P Did you all make it home safe and sound???” I bit my lip and forced myself to hit enter before I thought about it too hard and changed my mind.

           My heart leapt out of my chest when I saw his response later that evening. “Hey, Ashley! It was great meeting you as well. Thanks for persevering through my (not so) stellar dancing skills. =D We made it back late but safely.”

         And with those short sentences, Josh and I began a journey that neither of us saw coming. We talked often, sticking mostly to our facebook walls, but on occasion deviating to a quick email or message. We soon discovered that we had a lot in common. We both had 3 siblings, enjoyed reading and watching baseball, neither of us could get enough of the beach and the mountains, our dads were from Pennsylvania, we’d grown up in PCA churches, we’d done competitive speech and debate in high school, and so much more. I told him how I got into photography, and he related to me horror stories from his job in collections. He told me how he was on the tennis team in college, and I shared stories of my high school softball years. We talked about our favorite movies, favorite foods, and on his birthday, Josh told me that his favorite kind of cake was red-velvet. I got to know him very well in just a few short weeks, and I wasn’t disappointed- he was just as wonderful as I’d thought at the wedding. 

           A few weeks after meeting and beginning to converse with Josh, my mom and I headed to Sugarcreek, OH for a day of shopping and fun, just the two of us. We drove down in the morning and spent the day at the flea market and some of the small shops, trying to avoid the extremely touristy areas of the densely Amish populated area. On the way home, we started talking about the future. 

          “What kinds of qualities do you want your husband to have?” Mom asked. 

           She’d asked it before, but I appreciated that check-up. I told her that first and foremost he needed to be godly, he should love children and want the Lord to bless us with them, I would love it if he could make me laugh but also be able to have deep conversations...

          I prepared myself for the question that I knew was coming. 

          “So, when you think of those qualities and the future and yourself being married, is there anyone who comes to your mind?” 

          It wasn’t a new question. I’d heard it before, but I’d never been able to give it a real answer. Sure, there’s been one or two other guys that had caught my fancy at some time or another, but none of them turned out to be anyone that I could truly see being my husband and the father of my children. None of them had exhibited the kinds of qualities that I found so incredibly attractive in Joshua.

         I took a deep breath. “I’m not exactly sure,” I said. Looking back on it, I wonder at how blind I had been. Despite how absolutely smitten I was with Josh, that comes through much more now when I recall it. I don’t think I actually had any idea where our friendship was headed. I had answered truthfully; I really wasn’t sure. Josh and I were just friends. God had been enabling me to guard my heart, and for that I was very thankful as I knew not if my friendship with this wonderful man would end up in anything more than just friendship. 

          We came up on the roadside fruit stand that we’d been watching for, and our conversation was interrupted. We pulled up in the gravel driveway, purchasing some cantaloupes and peaches before getting back in the car and continuing towards home. 

          Mom was curious. She didn’t let the conversation that we’d begun earlier drop. “So, back to what we were talking about. You said you’re not sure, so is there anyone?”

          I took a deep breathe and tried to figure out how to proceed. I might as well start simply. “Yes. There is someone that I think might fit those qualities.” I stopped, not sure what to say next. 

         “Well, how about telling me how you know him.”

         “Oh. He was at Daniel and Ashlee’s wedding. He was one of the the groomsmen and we talked at the reception.” I began to fill her in one some of the details; that it was his love for the Lord that really attracted me to him, how he worked at a bank, and that he was planning on going to seminary. I told her that we’d been talking, but we were just friends. He’d given me no reason to believe that he wanted anything more than friendship, and I was just enjoying getting to know him. 

          Mom told me that she and Dad would be praying for me. “Oh, and what’s his name?”

         “His name is Josh.”

         Over the next few months, Josh and I continued to talk, and my parents would check in periodically. I kept them filled in on our conversations and the fact that while we were still talking, his intentions did not move away from friendship.  

          I’d never looked forward to talking to someone as much as I looked forward to it with Josh. We never seemed to run out of things to discuss! We exchanged facebook wall posts every few days...

          And then, out of the blue, it all stopped. On August 15, I replied to one of Josh’s posts. 1 month and 5 days later, I hadn’t heard a word in reply from him...

__________________________

Joshua:

          When I finally arrived home in North Carolina from the wedding, I checked my Facebook. And I had a friend request that made my heart skip a beat with excitement. It was from Ashley Kate McMichael. It looked like I would have another opportunity to communicate with this interesting, sweet, and beautiful woman again after all.

         Soon, Ashley wrote on my Facebook wall. She said that it was great meeting and talking to me (a good sign, right!?) and even thanked me for dancing (I was worried that I may have scared her off with that). I immediately wrote back, thanking her for not giving up on me during the dancing and mentioning a Mexican restaurant we had stopped at on our way home. Would she write back? Or was she just being friendly and the conversation would drop there?
         As I was pondering that one night at my parents’ house, I showed my dad pictures of this beautiful, smiling bridesmaid I met at the wedding and had began talking to on Facebook.

        I told him that she was Reformed, seemed really cool, and that we danced at the wedding. My dad smiled at me and sighed. “You have plenty of time to find the right person. Take your time and get through seminary first.” After that, I didn’t feel like telling him that when I met Ashley I thought she could be the one. I wanted to be careful, but I also wanted to get to know her.

         Those first two posts became the beginning of several weeks of conversation between Ashley and myself on Facebook. We talked about our interests, our families, our childhoods, and our common Reformed faith. We found out we both loved the beach and enjoyed the mountains. We both loved reading and had played sports growing up, and enjoyed watching baseball. We both loved our families and cared about being involved in our churches. Ashley’s description of her love for the beach drew me in…but then her descriptions of everything else after that did, too. 

          Everything I found out about Ashley drew me to want to know her more. She was thoughtful (she liked CS Lewis and Luther!), she was caring, and she was fun. Ashley’s joy, love for Jesus, and love for life sparkled through everything she wrote to me. As our friendship grew through those Facebook conversations, my attraction to her grew more and more. But something held me back, and it didn’t have to do with Ashley.
         It was that I was scared. I looked back with regret at relationships I rushed into in college. I had done what I was thought was right, but looking back I had been prideful and the results were not good. I didn’t want to be hurt again, and I didn’t want to hurt Ashley. How could a long-distance relationship with her be possible? What about our age difference? Was I being selfish again in getting to know Ashley better, when I couldn’t see how it could grow into something more? Was I moving too fast again? 

        So slow down I did. I prayed and wrestled with what to do. I tried to spend less time on Facebook to clear my head. As I did that, our regular wall posts stopped. I let a month go by without replying to one of Ashley’s posts. The longer I went, the more tension I felt - what was she thinking? Did she even notice? I was going to have to do something. But what?