Well, I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me.
_______________________________________
Ashley:
I was exhausted that night and I was pretty sure that Josh was too - it had been a long weekend. After leaving Greenville, I knew that Ashlee, Daniel, and Josh had a 2 hour drive back to Charlotte, plus Josh had another 2 hours to go to get home. So, as the considerate person that I was (haha! I really just wanted to talk to him :P), I sent Josh an email and told me that he was more than welcome to give me a call if he needed some help staying awake on his drive.
He called at 10:30 that night as I was laying in bed next to my cousin Jessie. I looked at the phone, and I started freaking out and pretty much hyperventilated. By the time I actually had the guts to answer, it had gone to voicemail. I listened to his message where he told me that if I wasn’t too tired, I could call him back. So, with shaky hands, I did just that. We talked for an hour and a half about anything and everything from how much fun we’d had that day to why so many laws were recorded in the Old Testament. It wasn’t awkward at all- we had some silences but they didn’t make me uncomfortable. It was really good to hear his voice and my panic of not seeing him again started to subside. He asked me if he could talk to me again in a few days and I told him yes. We were slated for another phone call on Tuesday night.
I talked to my mom the next morning and filled her in on how our weekend had gone. I also told her that Josh had asked to talk on Tuesday night and asked her to prepare my dad- maybe there was a phone call coming?
I sat on my grandparent’s front porch on Tuesday night, enjoying the sound of Josh’s voice as the darkness surrounded me. It was a beautiful, warm evening and the stars were bright. Our conversation came easily and was friendly. I loved his slightly southern accent and the way he said my name. He told me more about his family and his growing up years. He asked about my siblings, and I told him more about their personalities. What he didn’t do was ask about pursuing a relationship further...
And that’s what I reported to my mom the next morning. She didn’t seem bothered by it...but later that day she called me. She and my dad had been talking and they were a little uncomfortable with Josh and me continuing with this undefined “friendlationship” because they didn’t know him and they were worried about me getting hurt.
So when Josh asked me if we could talk again on Thursday, I knew what I had to do. As we talked, the night grew darker and our conversation got quieter. I had a chance to say something and I took it, knowing that if I waited just a minute longer, I’d chicken out and not say what I needed to say.
I stumbled over my words, trying to tell him that my parents were nervous- not because of anything he had done, but just because their daughter was talking to a strange guy that they’d never met. But before I could get very far-and to my great relief-Josh stopped me.
“Ashley, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but do you mind if I say something? I want to apologize that you had to be the one to bring this up. I meant to talk to you about this Sunday, and then again on Tuesday, and I feel like I’ve put it off to long.
I was glad he was taking over the conversation and I took a deep breath as I listened to him.
“I don’t want to put any stress or tension between you and your parents in this situation,” he continued, “I’ve been wondering myself how I’d feel if my daughter was talking to some guy that I didn’t know. Ashley, I want to pursue you, and I want to do it the right way. So, can you tell me what would be the acceptable way for me to proceed?
Butterflies rippled through my stomach, and my heart leapt in my chest. HE wanted to pursue ME!?!?! I’d been dreaming about this for so long and it’d finally come! Joshua Andrew Grimm wanted to move forward in our relationship! Suddenly, I was jerked back to reality, and I found my senses again. He’d asked me a question, and I supposed I should give him an answer.
So, with a shaky voice, I began to tell him the story about a ring that my daddy gave to me when I was 13. With that ring, I promised that I would not give my heart to any man without his permission and blessing. Along with that came the idea that in any friendship with a man that has potential to be more than friendship, I would make sure that he was involved in the situation. My situation with Josh had followed that path so far, and I informed him that the next logical step would be to call my dad.
He agreed and with that, for the first (and last!) time in my life, I gave a “man with potential” my daddy’s phone number.
“Do you think he has any big plans this weekend?”
The question startled me for a second. And then it hit me. He was going to call my dad. No duh, right? I’d just given him my dad’s phone number, so what did I expect? But I supposed I didn’t expect it to come quite so quickly...
The plan was for Josh to call Dad on Saturday. “Is there anything I should know about him before I do so?”
“Well,” I sighed thinking about all the different things I could tell him about how amazing, fun and loving my dad is, “You should know that he lives to embarrass his kids, and he’s really good at it. O, and he told me one time that if I ever met a guy who lived out of state, that he would rent the apartment next to him and observe him. If that doesn’t scare you away, then you’re more than welcome to call him.”
Josh laughed, “Well, it was nice knowing you Ashley, have a great life! Nah, just kidding, you’re worth it.”
My heart skipped another beat.
We wrapped up our conversations as it was after midnight and I looked up at the stars and thought about how we were looking at the same ones.
“Sleep good Josh. I miss you.”
I waited for what felt like 10 minutes, even thought it was probably only a few seconds. I worried that I had said too much, but then his reply came, “I miss you too, Ashley.”
I could hear the longing in his voice.
I called my dad the next morning to let him know that Josh would be calling.
“What’s he calling for?”
“Oh, he just has some questions for you, Dad.”
“Really? What kinds of questions?” My dad loves to tease.
“Come one Dad, you know what kinds of questions!”
“O, you mean like, he wants to ask if he can date me?”
I laughed. “Yeah Dad, he wants to date you.
I headed back to Charlotte in Friday night, and I got to tell Ashlee in person that Josh was calling my dad the next day. She was almost as excited as I was, and squealed out loud when I shared the news.
Josh called me around 4:00 on Saturday afternoon to let me know that he had just gotten off the phone with dad. He said that it went really well, and that my dad told him he’d pray about it and call Josh back in a few days.
Those few days were excruciatingly long for all of us. Dad struggled with it- after all it was his first child to go through this stuff, and not to mention that it was his first daughter! I struggled with it knowing that I’d made a promise to Dad and that if he said “no” or “not yet” I’d have to keep that promise. And even though I didn’t talk to Josh anymore during those few days, I knew he must be having a hard time waiting.
On Tuesday night, after much prayer and discussion, Dad picked up the phone and gave Josh the OK to pursue a courtship with me. I’d never been more excited in my entire life!
___________________________________
Joshua:
I felt awful and hollow inside as I sank into the passenger seat of Daniel and Ashlee's car. We were all briefly silent as we drove away. We began to talk about how much fun the weekend was, and Daniel asked me if I thought I would pursue things with Ashley further. I didn't have to think about it this time. I answered that I definitely wanted to pursue getting to know her better, but that now I needed to figure out what I needed to do. What should my next steps be?
That Sunday had been a long day, and I still had around a 2.5 hour drive ahead of me. I felt emotionally drained and physically exhausted. My phone had died, and I ended up staying at Daniel's for a bit to charge my phone before I left. When I pulled up my phone and checked my email, I had an email from Ashley that gave me a shot of joy. She said that I could give her a call on my drive home!
It took me a good 10 minutes to work up the nerve to make that initial phone call. Finally, I prayed and took a deep breath and made the call. But Ashley didn't answer! I took a deep breath and waited for her call back. Finally, she called and kept me company a good portion of my drive back to Lumberton. Our conversation was natural and wide-ranging, from the importance of treasuring the moments of life we find ourselves in to why God included so many detailed descriptions of the tabernacle and temple in the Bible. I had never enjoyed a phone call with anyone so much.
Ashley and I had a couple more phone conversations that week. Her voice was delightful to hear and we had a lot of fun talking. I knew that I would need to talk with her about talking to her dad, but for some reason – either fear of moving too fast or fear of rejection – I didn't bring it up to her. Finally, on our third phone call, Ashley nervously began to mention her parents' concerns about the status of our relationship. I knew that I needed to take the lead on that conversation – so I asked her what I would need to do to pursue her further her, and found out from Ashley that I would need to call her dad. I got her dad's home and cell number and planned to call him on Saturday, March 26. As we were saying goodnight, Ashley said something that took my breath away: “I miss you.” I was hit over the head with the realization that Ashley really did have feelings for me. This scared me (what if things didn't work out with me calling her dad?) but it also made me very happy. “I miss you too, Ashley.”
I spent much of that Saturday at a cleaning day at my church, and finally took a break to call Mr. McMichael. After I paced around my apartment several times, I finally made the phone call. I called both numbers and didn't get him. I waited a few more minutes (again, pacing!) and called again. This time, I did reach him. We made brief small talk about what we had each been doing that day, and then how neither of us had had a conversation like this before.
Our conversation lasted around 45 minutes, and we discussed my family, my job, my relationship with the Lord, and (finally!) what my intentions were with Ashley. I told him that I wanted to get to know her better to see if we should pursue marriage. Near the end of our conversation, he reminded me of the Apostle Paul's statement in I Corinthians 7 that an unmarried man can focus on pleasing the Lord while the married man has to focus on pleasing his wife. I wasn't sure if he was trying to send me a signal by mentioning that passage or just providing some exhortation!
Mr. McMichael ended our conversation by saying that he wanted to pray about it and then he would call me back. After what seemed like three excruciatingly long days, he finally called me back in the evening of Tuesday, March 29. My heart was pounding as I answered the phone. Here was the moment I had been waiting for – was I going to get a yes or a no? What would we do if he said no?
I received my answer immediately as I answered the phone and I heard the laughter of Ashley and her mom in the background. Mr. McMichael said that yes, I could get to know Ashley – that we should get to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I was so relieved that Ashley and my goodbye in Greenville was indeed not a goodbye for good. After months of not hearing each others' voice, we would be able to talk every week. It all felt new to me – I didn't know what the future held, but I was so excited I would get to know Ashley better and pursue her!
__________________________________
Ashley:
Josh and I were allowed 2 phone dates a week, and we made the most of them, often talking for over 5 hours! We got to know each other so well and always seemed to have more to talk about.
Towards the end of May, Josh and I started talking more seriously about feeling like God was calling us towards marriage and how the timing would be if indeed He continued to call us in that direction.
In June, he came to meet my family for the first time (as well as being the first time I got to see him since we started courting), and they all loved him.
By July, I knew that I loved him, and we both knew for sure that would be married one day.
In August, Josh and I traveled down to Georgia so that I could meet his family, and we had great time with them.
On an incredibly hot, humid day in September, Joshua Andrew Grimm told me he loved me and asked me to be his wife and I tearfully, excitedly accepted!
And well, the rest is history! Every day he somehow becomes more handsome and irresistible, and every day I fall more in love with him. We’re getting married on Saturday and are so excited to face the challenges and joys of life and ministry together!
